Blogging Fears [Thinking Out Loud #1]

Can I confess something? Lately I’ve been more and more afraid about blogging. Which is stupid, I know, but I want to have my blog express my desire to unabashedly put myself out there all “here I am” in a blaze of sass and style. But what I feel like I actually put out there pales in comparison to what I really want to do. For a lot if reasons, fear being one of them.

See, I’m trying to do a lifestyle blog. And in my head I am living my own version of healthy. But when I look back on my days, I can’t imagine anyone would believe me. I’m living this weird hybrid of paleo/”healthy” SAD/whatever the hell I want, and I just feel weird about it. On one hand, who cares. This is how I live, this is what I do. On the other hand, what message am I sending? What is my goal in all this? To show you can eat fried shrimp and still feel like a normal human? How it’s hard to work and tend kiddos and travel and eat right/exercise but you do what you can because that’s what you have to do? I could try harder. But on a deep level, I don’t wanna. I’m doing good with where I’m at, a good balance between hanging in there and not feeling stressed about being too far one way or the other.

I guess there’s a little comparison trap in there, too. I follow folks that have green on their plate every meal, awesome “OOTD” posts (outfit of the day for all of your social media misfits; don’t feel bad, that one took me a few weeks to decipher), contribute to all the fun link-ups and still have engaging, original content. And the Tweeting. Who has time to Tweet?!? That’s not me. I barely have the time for the “oh crap, I should post now,” throw it in the iPhone app with some blurry pictures and hope it reads coherently. Because that’s me.

I guess in my head I want this blog to be one thing, but in reality it’s something completely different. It’s just an extension of me. It’s my lifestyle, it’s what’s in my head, it’s a reflection of my life and how I choose to live it.

I don’t use a photo editor. 90% of my posts are written on my phone while standing on the commuter train because there are no more empty seats. I don’t post “healthy” food, and I don’t take enough pictures to properly document festive occasions such as birthdays and baby updates. I wish I could, but at the end of the day that’s not what I make time for. Instead, I sit and chat with Hulk for an hour in the evening before dinner, catching up on our day and some alone time to decompress. I sit with Squish watching “Cars” for the seventh time that day or help him race his trains across the kitchen floor. I don’t photoshop, I don’t scour the internet for interesting articles to share. I live my life, and when I can I blog about it.

At first pass, I feel “blog guilt” about it. I should be doing more, but at the end of the day I just choose to spend my time doing other things (like catching up on sleep). So in a sense, this blog is totally 100% authentically me, in a “here it is, take it or leave it,” way. Because that is who I am, and really, at the end of the day, that is what I want to be on this blog.

Thank you to Amanda at Running with Spoons for the Thinking Out Loud Thursday link-up opportunity!

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About Emily F

Aspiring pseudo-athlete, wannabe health nut, and blogger. Working mom with a bun in the oven. City lover. Paleo affectionate but foodie at heart. Makes a mean couch fort.
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6 Responses to Blogging Fears [Thinking Out Loud #1]

  1. I think being 100% authentically and unapologetically yourself is one of the best things you can do. At the end of the day, blogging should make you happy, and it sure as heck isn’t going to if you’re trying to be someone you’re not. Just do you… and rock that shit :mrgreen:

  2. The blogging comparison trap can be tough. I really wish I could blog every day and that I took more pictures. And I wish my pictures were better! But guess what, this is just a hobby. I’m not getting paid! The busy in my blog name is no joke. And you’re right, sleep is more important than writing a blog post! Amanda is right, blogging should be fun! Don’t stress yourself out… if someone doesn’t like your content, then oh well for them.

    • I know. Comparison is ridiculous. But I still feel sometimes like I’m heading into my new school, wondering if anyone will like me. It’s ridiculous that we still feel this way 20 years later. I guess it’s the primal desire to be accepted by your community, even an online one!

  3. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to portray a certain picture on your blog. It’s what this whole voyeuristic, social media obsessed world that we live in today. But I think this post is awesome and it’s even more awesome if you write about whatever YOU want. And fried shrimp? Yes please!

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