35 Weeks

I still haven’t wrapped my head around how much volume I take up now. I used to be able to squeeze in between the crowds in airports and busy SF streets without issue (benefits of being 5’0″ tall), but now I seem to have acquired all of this circumferential mass that I have yet figured out how to wield. Even at home, if Hulk doesn’t have is desk chair pulled all the way in, I get stuck trying to pass behind him on the way to my desk.

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Elevator selfies are the best.

She’s still sitting breach from what I can tell. At my next appointment next week I may be sent in for an ultrasound and fetal stress test to see if she can handle being turned. I forgot to ask my doctor what happens if she can’t be turned. Well, I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.

Baby Size She’s about 20in long and weighs around 5 lb now. The doctor said she’s very similar in size if not a little bigger to what Squish was at this stage, and he was born at 6lb 8oz which was nice. Yay for small babies!

Symptoms Lots of puffy ankles, an achy belly from dragging all that weight around, and raging, furious heartburn. Other than that I’ve been feeling pretty normal.

Cravings I eat everything.

Weight Gain My weight gain has leveled off. I think I’ve gained around 30 lbs. My doctor said my weight gain has been right on par with what I gained with Squish, with some weeks the numbers matching exactly. And I dropped the baby weight like a bad habit when I was nursing, so I’m pretty confident I’ll be down to my “fighting weight” after a few months postpartum. I’m am really, really eager to start running again!

Other Thoughts I’ve been in a bit of a sour mood lately, and I think it’s been a combination of life stress, my crap-tastic diet, and hormones. I read somewhere that depression is pretty common during pregnancy (not to forget postpartum depression, which is pretty serious), and I am having a difficult time getting out of my own head and quelling the negative thoughts I tend to brood on. Hulk has been rock star awesome at being very understanding and helping me out where he can. Mostly I’m dealing with my own frustrations at no longer being able to do what I’ve always done but can’t now, and fear about how much life will change with 2 needy, small humans instead of just 1 that other people take care of for me. I’m not a very “maternal” person, and I always feel like a bad mom when I can’t figure out what Squish wants, or after four hours alone with him I’m totally done with him. I don’t know how Hulk and other stay-at-home parents do it. I keep thinking that it’ll be different with this baby, since I’ve been through it before and I know the mistakes I want to correct and it’ll totally be better. But I know that’s not the case. I may have already raised a baby, but I haven’t raised this baby. Who knows what fun surprises she has in store!

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