I sat down to post yesterday. Really and truly I did. I sat down, at a real computer (not just my phone) and attempted to crunch one out. And zero inspiration. None. No new workout challenges, no cute pictures of the kids, nothing that I really wanted to share. This July Posting challenge thing seems to be harder than I thought. Posting after such a long absence is also harder than I thought. I want to get back into it, but I know that the direction I want to go and how this blog has been are just different. Do I take the blog in the new direction? Or just keep jamming and don’t worry about continuity of content?
My life is also taking a new direction. I think when we go through periods of self-growth and introspection it’s hard to be public about it. How do I explain all of these new things that I barely know myself? I like to blab about all things in my little space here. But there are some things I’m thinking about that are just too new for me to put out there just yet. Things about self-worth and finding your own path in life. Maybe describing a new path is appropriate for “Emily Rocks the Road.” So basically, I have been trying for the past three years to really figure out how to fit it all in. This is a common posting topic, I’m sure you’ve seen. How to be a kick-ass employee, mom, wife, friend, and do all that while staying healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually all at the same time. You know, just like thousands of other women. And so far I have yet to find the magic day planner, to-do list, or organizational system that can help me cram 30 hours into a 24 hour day.
Slowly, I’m whittling down that to-do list. I stopped sweeping every week. Okay, I swept the floor yesterday for the first time since moving in; and not all of the floors, just the kitchen. Fine. I stopped blogging, not intentional but more of I stopped making room in my day for it, so it didn’t happen. I stopped eating clean and opted for more convenience foods – eating out for breakfast and lunch, throwing together a quick dinner or just picking up pre-made food from the store on the way home from work. Not friendly on the budget, but easy to convince myself it’s easier. When I felt like I needed to exercise I would go for a walk instead of a run or to the gym, since prep time for a walk is “where are my shoes.” I went to bed early. I started “sleeping in” and leaving the kids to the husband in the morning. I stopped trying to walk/train the dog in the morning and instead just let her out in the backyard to her own devices. I don’t watch TV, I spend minimal time on social media, and I don’t really do any of the other standard time-sucking activities. Honestly, I’m not sure where my time goes after sleep, eat, commute, work, and take care of small humans and if I’m lucky say “hi” to the husband before crashing into bed, ready to do it again tomorrow.
I’m not complaining. I’m constantly taking a look at where I spend my time to figure out how to use it better toward the things I really want in life. I suppose the problem is, what do I really want? I’ve always wanted to do All The Things. I have a list of my “stuff to do” that includes karate, piano lessons, ballroom dancing, and write a novel. No wonder I always feel like I can’t fit it all in! Maybe my Do All The Things list should be play trains with Squish, lift some heavy things, do my PT exercises, and go on a family hike. I mean, it’s great to have goals and ambitions, but when I look at it from a practical point of view, I’m not there right now. I’m a working mom with two point four children, YOUNG children, and that’s not my life right now. And that’s okay. I have a lot of life left yet. I think. Pretty sure. Yeah, let’s go with I do.
Time to go re-do the To Do List.
What’s on your life To-Dos?
Go make it a great day!
And a relaxing beach pic, because feelings.