Yesterday was one of those terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days for me. I can’t even explain it. Monday I went to bed feeling all the gratitude and warm fuzzies about the world. Tuesday I woke up and felt like Kill All the Things. And I’m not even on Day 5 of a Whole30!
Since I was all grumpy, I skipped out of the house as soon as I could after the usual kid-wrangling to avoid making the rest of the family miserable, and grabbed a sausage breakfast sandwich from the deli by my office. Their breakfast sandwiches are magical, being hand-made on a toasted croissant. It’s a nice food-treat to start the day. I also downed a couple of coffees with milk.
I was still feeling sort of reclusive, so I went to a nearby cafeteria where I knew it was chicken tandoori day. Some chicken tandoori, curried veggies, and rice were some good soul food. I also walked to and from the office, so it was a good sunny mile walk each way.
I wasn’t hungry in the afternoon, but I did indulge in some mood-eating. A KIND bar and a few Andes mints were a decent distraction, washed down with a couple Diet Cokes.
I came home to some good family news, so that perked me up. No public announcements yet since it’s not quite a done deal. True to my “no beer before barbells” rule, Hulk offered to put dinner together while I worked out in the garage. I started the Champion program on the Spitfire Athlete app. I didn’t have time to get through the whole workout, but I completed most of the weight lifting and skipped out on core work.
- Assisted pull-ups, 3×12
- Cable pulls (I modified with a band since I don’t have a cable to pull), 3×12
- Bent over barbell rows, 3×12 @ 45 lbs
- Reclined dumbbell arm extensions, 3×12 using a 10lb plate
- Inclined reverse dumbbell flys, 1×12 @ 3 lbs (yes, 3. It was either that or 40)
Hulk outdid himself for dinner: hamburger patties topped with cheese and fried eggs, with a side salad and peas. We ate on the patio again, and I showed Squish how to angle his fork through the patty to make a sort of meat-on-a-stick method of eating the hamburger, rather than cutting it into bites. Then we drank some beers on the porch while watching the sun set. Hulk took care of the domestic stuff while I went to bed early and read my book. I’m almost done with “The Art of Racing in the Rain” and I have only cried twice so far.
I know I’ve been succumbing to emotional eating lately, and I just have been allowing it. It’s hard not to have Whole30 rules to fall back on when things are difficult. I know what’s wrong – I want to do all the things and am frustrated that there are only 24 hours in a day – but eating just seems easier than fixing it. There are also a couple other health-related things I’ve been meaning to explore, such as maybe giving myself a caffeine holiday.
I’m also really trying to figure out how to get more exercise in, and I’m caught in “mom guilt” whenever I take time out for myself, which was part of why I was so grumpy yesterday. I had planned on working out in the morning, but then children/life happened, and it didn’t get done. I’m so sick of falling victim to excuses, but I just can’t get myself together. I know I need to take care of myself in order to take care of everyone else, but it’s so much easier in theory than in practice. I think I’m going to get up at 6:00 for a run, but then at 5:58 I have a tearful preschooler climbing in my bed after a scary dream, and while I’m getting him settled I then have a baby that’s all “IT’S [6:17 in the] MORNING WHY AREN’T YOU ALL READY TO PARTY YET? And why are my pants so squishy?” and by the time I’m done with her diaper blowout the preschooler is now awake and asking for “milk and chocolate toast” and my window of opportunity to scrap together any time for myself this morning is firmly shut. Fortunately this phase of life is temporary and I’m doing my best to appreciate the little things involved with taking care of small children (stop growing up!) but it’s hard when I know I need to exercise and rest and keep myself sane above it all. But tomorrow is always another day.
And that’s it for this day. Go make it a great one!