Secretly Six Years Old

You know when you have a dream so real, you confuse it with reality? What are those called? Well, I had one of those last night, with some amusing side effects. Yesterday at work, I received a meeting invite for a kind-of-a-big-deal meeting. The meeting was for 5:00 am this morning, since it involved kind-of-a-big-deal folks on the east coast. Okay, great. If I need to be at an early morning meeting every once in a while because the project is based on the east coast, I can handle that. But normally we try to schedule meetings as close to normal working hours as possible, so that was weird. However, since the meeting was for kind-of-a-big-deal people and we were working around their schedule, maybe that’s all that was available. And I’m far from a big deal, so I wasn’t sure if it was a courtesy invite, or if I’m a required attendee. So, do I accept and lose out on an hour of sleep? Or do I assume they couldn’t possibly expect California to attend a 5:00 am conference call and it’s all a misunderstanding?

I got distracted by shiny things didn’t get a chance to address it at work, and I didn’t think about it until I was going to bed and setting my alarm for the next day. So I texted my boss at 10:00 pm asking if I needed to be on the call. Then I went to bed, setting my alarm early just in case.

Apparently, I dreamed that my boss texted back that I didn’t need to attend, so I shut off the alarm. In my dream. Then I dreamed other stuff, so I became confused that it was all a dream. So when my alarm went off at 4:45, I was super confused. I turned this alarm off! I didn’t have to be on the call, what is going on. Then I checked my texts, realized my boss never texted me back in real life, and I still didn’t know if I needed to be on the call or not. Ugh. So I waited until 5:00 am and joined the call.

There was no one on the line.

I checked the meeting invite. It was schedule for March 5, not February 5. Since both days fall on a Wednesday it didn’t occur to me to check the month. And that’s the week I’m on the east coast, so they actually scheduled the meeting for when I would be there during business hours. Oh em gee.

On the plus side, I had an awesome, leisurely breakfast and food prepped some more stuff to last the rest of the week.

In other random news, I was horribly, illogically excited that I had all the ingredients to make Ants on a Log at work yesterday.


I was grinning like an idiot and sort of giggling to myself the entire time. Yes, I am secretly 6 years old.

I’ve been user testing a new workout training app. It’s called Spitfire Athlete, and it’s being designed and developed by a trainer in San Francisco. It’s a weight training app for women. For “real” weight training, like barbells and stuff, not the Gwyneth Paltrow only-lift-5-lbs weights. I’m really digging it so far. It’s not released yet, but when it is I’ll let you know. But that’s where my workouts have been lately.

Alright, this is a word-y post. Here is a happy picture pulled from Pinterest to cheer up your hump day. May your day make you as happy as the trampoline has made these goats.



The Toddler “Off” Button

What’s up, my bloggies?

We had a super chill lazy weekend. Apparently there was a football game or something. I’m not sure; all I know is I’m waiting for esurance to tell me I won my $1.5 million.

Squish and I made a farmer’s market run,


I wore him out at the playground,


Yeah, he just decided to lay down on top of the slide. Apparently I had found the toddler ‘off” button.

I was up later than I wanted to be frantically finishing up food prep for the week. I procrastinated on it all Sunday, thinking that if I started it would be bad timing, or something would come up like an invitation to do something while I had an oven full of roasting, two pots boiling over on the range, and a pile of half-chopped veggies. Of course nothing happened all day except me literally spinning in circles because I had so much to do but nothing to do but if I started to do something then is wouldn’t have time to finish it because I have so much to do. Gah, good think Hulk was working all weekend. I’m exhausting to live with.

Anyway, I did make some yummy food.



And I made a bomb-diggidy lunch to bring to the office.


Grass fed beef, b’nut squash, brussel sprouts FTW. 1/2 an avo with some raw veggies and a pack of AB for when the munchies strike.

Okay, now time for the confessions.

I didn’t eat enough on Friday or Saturday. One thing I know when you switch to a paleo-whole-food eating thing is you have to EAT. Skipping and restricting isn’t an option. So, I sort of was too lazy to buy food and cook it, and by Sunday night I was through-the-bones ravenous. It want the “sugar shakes”, and it wasn’t the growly-in-the-tummy hungry. It was an all-consuming fatigue I felt in my bones. So crazy. So, of course, I lost it and shoved a whole bunch of food in my face, food I didn’t want to eat on this plan but wasn’t the deal-breakers of dairy and gluten. I had about 4 chocolates that our CouchSurfing friends left, dove into the tortilla chips bowl, and drank about 4 beers during the Super Bowl. Then after my food prep I had a slice of a pork loin roast while I cleaned up the kitchen. Hardly a leisurely and satisfying meal. Anyway, that happened.

Time to move on with Monday. Can you believe I wrote most of this post in between sets at the gym? It’s a good use of time.


Three Days of Catch-Up, the Borscht Edition

I know some of my comments about “failing” and the “mistakes” I make probably seem trivial. For most people, eating a croissant is probably not the worst thing in the world to do. There are a lot of less healthy stuff out there, like meth and crawling in sewage systems. And I don’t want to seem like I’m beating up on myself; I’m not. I can’t make myself feel bad for every less-healthy option I have ever chosen. That’s a bit of a waste of perfectly good energy. But I do need to stop thinking that I “deserve a treat” or that “just one won’t hurt”.

I came up with a new analogy for health. To me, health like a bucket of water that is filled or emptied by drops. Doing good things add drops to the health bucket, and doing bad things take away drops. I know this is a simplistic analogy, but hang with me here. So having one croissant? No big, it’s just one drop removed from the bucket. Every day? Mmm, you might notice something. Every day, plus after-lunch cookies and a couple glasses of wine at night? Before you know it, your bucket is half empty and your pants are a little full. I have to remind myself that every decision is a drop – how do I want to spend it?

Okay, enough with the deep stuff. Let me back up a little bit on current events. It’s been a while so let’s catch up.

Wednesday night was a lot of this.


I went to a social networking meetup group at a wine bar in North Beach. Such good sangiovese, and so much of it! I may have overindulged. Much anticipated bucket drops, I assure you.

Thursday I remembered to pack breakfast as well as lunch (yay!). I threw a few hb eggs and the last of the root veggie hash in a box on my way out the door. This is what it looked like after I finally finished it off:


Lunch was leftover salmon, brussel sprouts, and sweet taters. I had to eat it in the break room because I didn’t want to disturb my coworkers near my desk with stinky fish.  20140124-074303.jpg

I did have a chocolate. My coworker just got back from Hawaii and brought back some Hawaiian chocolates. The ones with the little macadamia nut inside. It would have been rude of me to refuse, you know.


Dinner was a quick hash of beef, cabbage, and butternut squash. Even though Squish had already had his dinner, he still crawled up in my lap to help me with my squash. Hee-hee, Squish eating squash. Funny words. Anyway, I think he’s over whatever crud he had over the weekend, his horse-like appetite is definitely back.


Got my usual 5:30 am Squishy wake-up call this morning. Lately he’s been waking up at the butt crack of dawn and coming into our room to pull me out of bed and play with him. Let’s just say I’m not quite in the playing mood at 5:30 in the morning, a half hour before my alarm is supposed to go off. We usually shoo him out and set him up in front of the TV with some Sesame Street and a sippy cup of milk, but Hulk was out of town this week so I ended up letting Squish crawl in bed with me. He fell right back asleep, so I was torn between “I should have sent him back to his own bed” and “Aww! Baby snuggle time!”

Breakfast was half a chicken breast and a few bites of roasted beets as I ran out the door. I was ravenous all day. Ate 1/2 an avocado for mid-morning snack, along with a couple cups of coffee with generous splashes of soy milk (I know not the best option, but it’s that or those little tubs of creamer and they just don’t do it for me) then the rest of the avocado on my “usual” lunch of beef/butternut squash/brussel sprouts. I gotta say, this is the first time the weekly prep thing worked out 100%. I ate from my own fridge almost every meal this week, and now on Friday night I might have enough to scrounge up lunch tomorrow, but for the most part the fridge is cleaned out. Which is fine since I’m out of town next week 🙂 Hulk’s turn to hold down the fort!

I also won “employee of the week”. NBD.


The real reward is this super awesome poster you get to display somehow on your desk.

I also grabbed a short latte at Starbucks with a coworker, and had an apple and a pack of peanuts to get me through the late afternoon. And a few dates sprinkled throughout the day. And maybe a beer with coworkers. I was completely ravenous for most of the day; I think my crappy breakfast-ing is catching up to me. Wow, and you don’t realize how fast snacking catches up to you. I think about my actual *meals* and was like, oh, I didn’t eat much today. I’ve been doing a pretty decent job with my food log and as I looked at it I was like, “Oh yeah, and the dates. And the apple. And the … and the …”

Then I came home to dinner already made! Our babysitter is from Russia, and she made borscht for us. It was so sweet of her, and the most fabulous homemade soup I’ve had in a long time! I’ve never had borscht before, but I love beets so I knew it would be scrumptious.



The picture is a little weird; I had already started to stir in the sour cream before I remembered to snap it. She also made a green salad as a first course. It was a perfect dinner to kick off the weekend. I had a clementine for dessert. Might have another one two or three yet, mmm.

Well, the kid’s in bed. Time to kick back with some wine and hang out with friends. Hope you all have a happy weekend, if I don’t see you before Monday!

Socially Awkward Fail and the Day’s Eats

I had this really awesome idea for a post intro this morning. It was going to be all eloquent and introspective and stuff. And now since this intro is neither eloquent nor introspective, you are safe to assume I forgot my idea as soon as I sat down to write it. Boo.

I also have an awesomely embarrassing fail to share with you. Okay, it’s not that awesome. It just goes to show how I keep making bad decisions.

So, I decided this weekend to go off sugar, dairy, and grains. Not really a Whole30, but as close as I can make it without driving myself nuts. On Monday I had a ham and cheese croissant for breakfast. I felt dumb since I told myself I would take care to eat real food for breakfast. Tuesday, I managed to slam down 1/2 an avocado and some rotisserie chicken straight from the fridge as I ran out the door. A while after I got to work, my boss announced that he was going to get a croissant breakfast sandwich at the deli, and would anyone like to join him? A few of my coworkers went, and since I’m still kind of new and I’m trying to make work friends I spontaneously jumped in the elevator with everyone.

We get to the deli, and I end up first in line. I order my croissant sandwich, and wait for the others. My boss, the instigator in this whole exercise, was last in line. Which was unfortunate because by the time they got to him, all the croissants were gone. I felt ridiculous. I don’t even need this damn sandwich, I’m not that hungry (kind of hungry, but more of a hard-boiled-egg-and-I’m-fine hungry rather than a monstrous-breakfast-sandwich-hungry), and I shouldn’t be eating this thing anyway. I offered my croissant, but it was politely refused. By the time I got to my desk I just slammed the whole thing down out of embarrassment and guilt. #SociallyAwkwardPenguin.

So, what can I do differently next time? For one, don’t join in. But if I want to jump in for the social interaction, for pete’s sake don’t order a damn croissant. The deli serves all sorts of food I could totally eat: egg dishes, fruit or veggie salad, beverages like coffee and tea. I have other options. Finally, if all other options failed I could have been more insistent when I offered my croissant up. Be like, “no, you take it” and just drop it and walk away or something. I just need to not get so freaked out and freeze up in uncomfortable situations. But I’m sure I’m the only one in the world who has minor social anxiety issues. Which is also why I blog and not, you know, talk to real humans.

Anyway, that was my only real indiscretion yesterday. The rest of it went pretty well as planned.

Finished the chicken stock up from the weekend prep and had a delicious cup o’ broth straight from the pot.



GHOMG it was sooo good.

Lunch was another rendition of “look all of the food I made this weekend; I should eat all of it at once” beef hash/root veggie hash/sauteed mushrooms/brussel sprouts bowl of glory.



I also ate about 400 clementines. Partly because I was craving sugar and partly because I just like them. They make my hands smell nice.



Wasn’t there some movie line like “smell my fingers”? Or is that just a random thing? It might be dirty; I hope that doesn’t offend. I tend to be oblivious to that kind of stuff.

Anyway, I made salmon for dinner. With sweet taters and some sauteed cabbage.



I felt kind of bad making my own dinner. Our new babysitter has been making dinner for us, but she did a stir-fry with spaghetti noodles last night so I didn’t want to eat it. It looked really good though. She’s a good cook.

I had some major snuggle time with a certain little man. Between his sickness, the new babysitter, and all of our work travel he’s been pretty out-of-sorts cranky and clingy lately. Like, it never used to phase him when I left for work. Now every morning when he sees me zip up my jacket the screaming waterworks start. So I’m trying to spend time with him when I can and hope this phase passes soon.



But seriously, how can you resist a cuddle with that face?

Finally, welcome to the “FML” moment of the day. Hulk texted me from abroad that he was trying to avoid diet coke, and it was hard because the office he was working from is filled with it. I responded with these pics from our break room:



I get to avoid all this. Every day. Oh, and there’s a whole fridge of soda and fruit juice smoothie thingys that I ignore, too. Don’t get me wrong; I love how giving and accommodating my employer is by providing free snacks. And there is a lot of stuff I can eat: they have a ton of fresh fruit and veggies, beef jerky, trail mix that’s just nuts and dried fruit, etc. But you have to consciously reach past the chips and candy to get to it 🙂 Some days are harder than others to avoid. Actually, MOST days are harder than others to avoid. Always something to work on.

Here’s to life, adventure, and fighting the good fight.

New Year, New Blog?

What’s up, my bloggies?!? Where do I even start? It’s been two months since my last post. Not too much has changed. Duke went to the big dog park in the sky. Squish is getting bigger and more squish-tastic every day. Hulk and I are both still traveling a lot. Traveling separately, unfortunately. So far not any fun trips as it’s all been for work. And I am still trying and failing at this whole “healthy” thing.

You’d think that with a new year would come new changes, new feelings of drive and accomplishment, new desires. Every year is the same for me. Every year I’m like, “this will be my year to get fit!” And every December I’m standing in the wake thinking, “well, that didn’t go well”. The other day I was cleaning out some old files from my computer, and I found my New Years resolution notes I wrote for 2008. 2008! Six years ago. And you know what they were? Lose weight. Kick ass at my job and get promoted. Be a better friend. Cook more and get organized in the house. Guess which resolutions made the list for 2014? If you guessed, “all of the above,” here is your gold star.

You can frame it if you’d like.

Anyway, I thought it is high time I regroup and get some support. And by support I mean blogging and facing the judgement of the internet. Nothing says “don’t eat that muffin” like attempting to be a transparent “healthy” food blogger and knowing you will be facing the scorn of invisible talking heads hiding behind keyboards.



Of course, I have just about as much time for this as I had before. Which means none. Which is kind of the reason I haven’t posted in about two months. But I’m sort of pondering what I want this blog to be now, the direction I want it to go. I’m not running anymore (more about that some other time), I haven’t been cooking a whole lot, and I work a ton. But I guess it’s still the story of me, living it up in the city and making the most of it. Which is pretty much anyone’s story, really.

So here’s to a new year. Whether or not it will be a new blog or not is up to the fates and my creative impulses to decide.


And let’s keep it realistic, people.


Yoga and Ramblings

Remember how I mentioned we have no Thanksgiving plans? Well, now I’m cooking dinner for 12. Next year I’m keeping my mouth shut. Should be good times, though. I just hope we have enough wine.

I went with a friend to my first legit hot yoga class in maybe over a year. If the class had a title, it probably would have been “Life Lessons and Lunges.” In between excruciating variations of warrior poses the instructor would punctuate his cues with inspirational phrases like “you are right where you need to be” and “discomfort is a blessing; it makes you stronger and more alive”. It hasn’t been long enough yet but I can tell my hips and shoulders are going to hate me tomorrow. Mental note: do yoga more often.

That’s all I’ve got. Here’s a link I found on Pinterest. It’s funny because it’s so awkwardly random. Go fangirls.


My Own Advice

Last night, I took a dose of my own self-care adventure advice, and instead of cranking out the billion self-imposed things on my to-do list I took a night off.

Backing up, I had leftover beef hash with a little rice for lunch. The hash had ground beef, onion, squash, zucchini, and bell pepper. I also had some carrots and olives but never got around to eating them.


When I got home from work I was extremely grateful that dinner was already made a la leftover ground beef hash. Our au pair offered to walk Duke for me so I could get Squish and I fed.


I threw in some leftover butternut squash to the hash so it wasn’t like I ate the EXACT same thing three meals in a row.

Then Squish and I packed up and walked down to the library at Mission Bay. It’s not a huge branch, but it’s within walking distance through non-sketch and non-hilly neighborhoods and they have a small children’s area with toys and games. Squish pounces on the games to give me time for a quick browse for the two of us. I picked up some new board books for Squish and a couple indulgent novels for myself: “The Red Queen” by Philippa Gregory and “Crossed” by Ally Condie.

Front Cover(source) and  (source)

I was super excited to find the whole “Matched” trilogy at the library! I have “Matched” on my kindle but couldn’t bring myself to spend another $25 on the rest of the trilogy. I’m a bit cheap when it comes to my fluff reads. Now that I have my library card, a whole world of fluffy YA literature is now in my reach!

After we got home from the library, I put Squish to bed with some mild protest and left the dishes in the sink so I could curl in bed with a glass of wine and my new books. I also decided to sleep without an alarm and when I wake up, I wake up. I found myself wide awake at 5am from a weird dream but decided that it was too early to wake up in the name of self-care. So I dozed until 6:30 and paid for it by being late for everything.

Random breakfast that I ate maybe 3 bites of before forgetting it on the counter:


Yogurt, apples, and cinnamon.

At least I’m well-rested. And my legs really hurt. I so need a massage for my poor hammies. 😦 I haven’t done anything since Sunday’s run (well, except for sprinting on my bike commute) and I’m starting to feel antsy. I have to go to the airport stupid early tomorrow so I might be able to convince myself to work out tonight. Or I might just go to bed early again because of the 3:30 am wake-up call tomorrow. Boo, grown-up decisions.

Anyway, have a happy Thursday and a happy weekend. I will probably not get an opportunity to post tomorrow, so I’ll see you Monday!

13 Miles and Eat All the Things

Good morning, everyone! Sorry I was MIA yesterday. The day just flew by and before I knew it, I was in my jammies. So we now have a lot of catching up to do. 🙂

Sunday I accomplished a 13 mile run. There we go, that is now out of the way.


Pre-run I fueled with two nuked eggs with some cheese and a banana. Silly Duke, you don’t even like bananas.


Since the Nike Women’s Marathon was running right along my usual route, I took advantage of the crowd control and headed out after I thought the bulk of the race was past. It was pretty foggy and cool, so in other words perfect running weather! The moon was setting right over Coit tower. Which of course meant it looked more spectacular in person than on iPhone camera.


I ran mostly along the sidewalks next to the end of the race until I ran out of sidewalk then carefully made my way through the crowd. The plan was to run alongside the course until I needed to turn around, then figure out how to head back. Easier said than done.


Oh, did you know there were giant sand sculptures in the Sports Basement parking lot? Me, neither.

Anyway, I managed to stay out of everyone’s way until we headed up the hill through the Presidio towards the Golden Gate Bridge. I found myself totally stuck in the racers walking up the hill, and frantically tried to get out and around the crowd. I feel a little guilty poaching the course, but I try to stay out of everyone’s way and I bring my own food/water, so the only thing I’m taking is the advantage of a closed course. Anyway, it was a wall of people and I felt bad taking up space.


So as soon as the trail to the bridge split from the road I headed up to the bridge overlook. I sure picked a beautiful day to run out to the bridge.


Then I perused the trails for a while. I HAD to try the trail that goes through the little tunnel.


Then I found the bay again and went through Crissy Field and the Marina back to the Embarcadero.


And then I ate a bunch.


Immediate post-run two eggs and a rice cake with almond butter and coconut, a REAL Coke (thanks, Mom!) and a cookie, fish sticks and Annie’s mac-and-cheese (I started eating that before I remembered to take a picture). Oh yeah, my mom did the food run for the post-run goodies 🙂

And then there was Cheesecake Factory.


Squish helped me with my s’mores cheesecake.


Mom, Squish and I met up with Amanda and her boyfriend for dinner there. I had never been to the Cheesecake Factory and seized the opportunity. I had the salmon and salad for dinner prior to my cheesecake indiscretion, but I was distracted with Squish-wrangling and hunger to remember to take the picture.

And that is the story about how I ran off 1300 calories and ate 2000 to make up for it.

Five Things Friday #2

Happy Friday, bloggy peeps! I am once again blogging on my iPhone on Caltrain. I am fairly certain this shall be a regular occurrence. Now if Caltrain can only install wireless on the trains, I will be an unstoppable blogging machine on my commute. Or maybe I’ll do work. Meh.

The tough part about blogging while commuting is that I’m a little too distracted to write. So I’ll keep this easy with another “Five Things Friday” full of randomness. Which is funny since my posts are normally all about the random.

    1. Squish learned to jump this morning. He was helping me take out trash and on the way back from the chute I was being goofy and leaping down the hallway for his (okay, my) amusement. He laughed and started hopping himself. Then I caught him drawing on the wall with a crayon (classic rite of childhood passage, I know) and I told him sternly, “No! No crayon on wall! Paper, yes. Wall, no.” He looked shocked, then repeatedly pointed to the wall art and said, “No!” I think he understood. But I’m sure it’ll happen again.


    2. My bum really, really hurts from biking my measly 6 mile commute. I forgot that this is why I never picked up the bike again. The reintro period is brutal.

    3. My mom was in the Little Miss Nebraska patent back in the day. That’s where this photo came from. Aww!


    4. You know what I am loving working in a Silicon Valley start-up! Free food. Yup, we have a break room filled to the brim with snacks, sodas, and drinks. Like beer. I have beer at work. And the snacks are a good assortment of healthy and indulgent. I’m enjoying trying out all of the bars



    5. I tend to panic and make dumb decisions when I feel rushed. Leaving work to catch the train my first day, I was freaking out about making my connection. Plus, since I didn’t know how sweaty I would get on the bike, I wore yoga pants and changed my clothes when I got to the office. Leaving in a hurry, I grabbed my bike and headed to the elevator only to remember I was still wearing a skirt an heels. So I decided to drag my bike in with me to the nearest ladies’ room so I could change. I got in the ladies’ room and thought it would be weird if I left my bike out, so I brought it into the stall with me. I’m not sure what the other ladies in the restroom thought, me bursting through the door flushed and panicked dragging a clacking bicycle that’s smacking into every corner and trash can then dragging said bike into the stall with me. The good news is I made my train.

That’s all I’ve got for today. Have a great weekend, and make better decisions than I would make!

It’s Almost Friday!

Hi guys!

Let me just start out by saying that I love my new job! Seriously, I could not wait until Squish went to bed last night so I could break out the computer and do more work. I sure hope this enthusiasm is reflected a few months from now.

Of course, in true Murphy’s Law fashion, the day after I started work Hulk left on a business trip, and our babysitter gave notice. Fortunately Hulk found someone else to Squish-wrangle, but I’m having to cut out early from work to get home in time to release the current Squish-wrangler. Plus I’m really sad she’s leaving because she’s awesome with Squish and does a great job, but I know I’ll like the new sitter, too.

In other trying-to-figure-out-this-new-life news, I had to cut my run short yesterday. I was supposed to do a total of six miles including four one-mile intervals but I knew there was no way I could squeeze that in with my new commute. So I did my usual four miles and threw in some strides. I’m going to have to drastically modify my training schedule; at some point I’m suppose to run 8 miles on a weekday. There is no way I have time for a 1 1/2 hour run, plus set-up and tear-down on a Thursday. So I’ll do what I can, rock my long runs on weekends, and not stress. I’ll also have to think about training while traveling for work. I foresee some hotel treadmills (dreadmills) in my future.


New topic, I rode my bike for the first time in over a year yesterday. My bottom is so sore, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to ride again today. Then I remembered that I still had a super-hard racing saddle on my bike. Duh. Squish helped me switch it out this morning to a super cushy WTB Speed V, and my ride to the train station was much more comfortable.


That’s all I have time for now, the train is almost to my stop. See you tomorrow with some more adventures!