Dealing with the Mental Stuff

I’m not even sure where to start today. I guess this blog has quickly turned into my CrossFit training blog. I am totally okay with that. In fact, I’m going to work on a Progress and PR page so I can track my stats. Because what good is doing something if you can’t measure and compare it to death? Even competitive yoga is a thing. Americans have that tendency.

I still need to report back on the Spring Fling Competition from a couple weeks ago; it was fun, but sort of a reality check that I wasn’t expecting, but should have. After the competition, I became sort of discouraged. There were a lot of factors. One, I’ve been watching Regionals intensely, and I perhaps shouldn’t compare myself to Kara Webb or Rebecca Voigt just yet. Two, I’m still feeling all banged up and I can’t run without intense hamstring pain. Three, although I had quite respectable scores for a beginning CrossFit athlete, I can’t help but wish I somehow magically performed better. I seriously did everything I could in my power to perform at my best, and can’t say I would change anything. Normally I would be happy with what I got, but, I guess it sort of bummed me out to land exactly where I expected to, rather than walking in and blowing expectations out of the water.

And then Friday’s workout happened. Even though I was still feeling super banged up and sore, I went anyway because the workout looked soooooo good:

Conditioning round for time:

  • 10 strict presses
  • 15 overhead squats
  • 20 push presses
  • 25 front squats
  • 30 push jerks
  • 35 back squats

Super fun, right? Rx was 37kg. I showed up at the noon class about 20 minutes late because I got tied up in a meeting that ran over. I didn’t really get a warm-up in, so after some quick mobility I jumped into the weighted lunges that were the strength portion, squeaked out my 5×10 reps, then loaded up for the WOD. There were a ton of people in the class, and since I got there late all of the women’s bars were gone. My options were a men’s bar or a junior bar, and since there were OHSs in the WOD I decided to go for the junior since it would afford a better grip, and I could always put more weight on the bar.

“Could” is the key word. I didn’t. I only loaded it to 20kg and did the WOD from there. I grabbed more plates, but I decided not to use them. My OHS sucks, and I really didn’t feel like my shoulders were ready to go by the time the WOD was. At least, that’s my excuse. In truth, I was tired, sore, and a bit mentally worn out. I didn’t want to fight myself to push. And my lack of fight scared me. How am I supposed to be competitive if I have off days?

What made my pity-party even more deep was I worked next to the girl that won the women’s division Sunday. She Rx’ed it, and we finished in nearly the same time. Literally throwing down twice the weight I was. And when it was done she chatted with me and said, “I thought you were going to put more weight on.” Not in a bad way, just a conversational, curious way. I felt the shame train just plow me over. Good lord, I am such a joke. Who did I think I am? I’m not good enough to compete, to be an athlete.

I was in a funk all weekend. Finally, while bottling the latest home brew, Hulk probed at what was troubling me and I spilled. I didn’t want to talk about it because I felt like I was just being a big baby, and I should just recognize that it was all in my head and get over it. But I also knew better, and as Brene Brown says in “Daring Greatly,” the best way to confront shame is to share it. So I told him how I want to compete but I’m still a beginner, and I don’t feel “good enough,” whatever that means. I shared how lousy I felt after the WOD on Friday, knowing I should have done more but didn’t. I worried if I was training enough or too much, what should I be doing and not doing, how do I keep my “aging” body performing when I have so many issues that now require attention (gone are the days where I could stay up until 2am drinking then show up at the start line for an 8am bike race the next morning; now I need a solid warm-up or my hamstrings hate me).

Hulk, being an ex-professional cyclist, is my best resource for sports training and performance advice. He might not know CrossFit specifically, but he gets it. “Actually, I am proud of you,” he told me. “You took it easy because you didn’t get a warm-up in and you were already feeling sore. A lot of athletes push through that, and that’s when injuries happen. It’s good that you know your body that well.” Also, while I’m not exactly a pro, he said I do have a sense of what I’m supposed to be doing and what my body needs to perform. “Just get out of your own way,” he reassured me. “You’re doing fine.”

He went on to say that newer sports medicine studies (I can’t reference which ones) are indicating more of a “less is more” approach to training. Where instead of overloading at 100% max session after session, you don’t train more than, like 80% of max, then when you compete you go all out. This allows the body to properly recover and rebuild, so you’re not too depleted to tax it during the competition. I think the research was done on swimming, but it’s interesting to explore more.

So I took Hulk’s advice and took some time off from the gym until I fell rested, both mentally and physically. I’ve been taking Olive on a lot of walks at the park, and trying to remember to do my PT exercises. My heart is totally ready to go back, but my legs feel very tight. I’m going to try and get a massage done at the most fantastic therapeutic massage place in SF and see if that helps. I’m also going to find a chiropractor and get some body work done. It’s time I start taking care of myself physically for all of the demand I’m putting myself through, and we’ll see how that goes.

And it’s time to start another Whole30. Because, ugh, why not. That, and inflammation.

So a minor bump in the road for the mental life of an aspiring athlete. I’m sure this is the first of many to come.

And I owe a competition report for the Spring Fling! It was pretty awesome.

That’s it for now, go make it a great day!

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On the Bright Side of Things

Good morning!

I hope you enjoyed my recap on the San Francisco Ultimate Women’s Expo. If you couldn’t tell, I had a wonderful time!

So, I had a new experience Monday night. Late in the afternoon, I started having some belly aches. I thought it was indigestion, but it turns out I was wrong. My first clue was when – wait, you’re not eating, right? Maybe save this part for when you’re not eating –  I was throwing up on the commuter train. Yes, I puked on Caltrain. Add that to the “Life Experiences” folder. Fortuntaely, it has toilets so really it wasn’t a problem, except for the really gross fact that I was throwing up in a train toilet.

Anyway, then I proceeded to throw up about every 45 minutes for the rest of the night. Pretty sure I had food poisoning. Hence me being a little MIA on Tuesday. I feel fine now. Man, was that an ab workout! My core hasn’t been this sore in months. So, there’s always a bright side!

So we took it easy with the food thing yesterday as stuff got back on track.

Emergen-C and some grapefruit.

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Some green smoothie from Jamba Juice.

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In other news, the house hunt is still on. We’re putting together an offer this week on a house we saw last weekend. I’m having mild panic attacks about it. Real estate in SF is no joke, yo. But it’s a beautiful house in a really desireable neighborhood, so we have to jump on it. Also, we signed another lease in our current place because our apartments required a firm yes/no on Monday and if we DON’T have a house before our lease is up we’d be in trouble if we didn’t have a place to live. I do not desire moving twice in six months with an infant. We had flirted with the idea of finding a cheaper apartment elsewhere to help cut costs while we were house hunting, but since we are finding some houses that we could do it looked like we would be in one sooner rather than later. As usual, timing is not on our side.

Whatever. For now, Oracle Open World is happening in our backyard. The other night they had Capital Cities doing a concert outside our window. If I wasn’t puking so much, I would have enjoyed it.

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Always a bright side!

 

Finally, check it out! The Oatmeal has released a new book, The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances! It’s time for me to start putting together my birthday wish list, since it’s just around the corner (November 1st for those of you poor souls that remember not this special, magical day). There’s a book signing on October 25th in San Francisco. Anyone interested in joining me (assuming I don’t have a baby yet)?

 

Someday, in some post-baby, dystopian universe, I will run again. Until then, I’ll just keep reading books about it and update my subscription to Runner’s World. Bright side!

Go make it a great day, kids!

 

 

It’s Friday!

Good Morning! It’s Friday! Yay! I have nothing special planned today, just a bunch of random ramblings and latest happenings.

I worked from home yesterday because I had a doctor appointment in the afternoon. Apparently I am a total creature of habit because I never think to blog when I’m at home, only when I’m on the train. So if I’m not on the train, I guess I forget to blog? Weird. Anyway, I’m off to wrap this week up, and then I’m in Pittsburg again for the next two weeks which are my last travel weeks until after the little miss is born. On one hand I’m kind of bummed. I love traveling, and it’s going to be soooooo boring! 😉 But I will enjoy being at home for a while to establish a “new normal” and get some nesting out of the way before life dumps a huge load of change on us in November.

Squish don’t care. Gramma ‘Nise sent him this really cool Thomas the Train interactive book that is totally preoccupying his time these days. It has a million buttons that all make noises, which is the best when it’s 6:30 in the morning. Thank you, Gramma! 🙂

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Aside from that, we have quite a few things on deck for the weekend:

  • Still have our college buddy visiting us for the weekend. The boys have plans to go out about every night, so I’m expecting some mimosa- or bloody mary-infused brunches followed by lots of naps during the day. I’m totally down with that.
  • I NEED to make a hair appointment before I take off for Pittsburgh. I hate it when my hair is in my eyes #shorthairproblems
  • Hulk found a couple more open houses to tour. As always, they look totally promising on paper. Still, I love house hunting. It’s fun to dream. I say only two weeks into serious house hunting. Let’s see where I’m at in six months!

In other updates, my back feels much better now from straining it the other night while cleaning. I iced it a few times and just took it easy. I still feel it twinge, but I’m able to stand up and sit down without much difficulty. Needless to say, I am not too keen on any heavy-duty housework in the near future.

Finally, kombucha.

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All the kombucha ❤ If we do move into a house with a normal-sized kitchen, I am totally brewing it at home. Until then, my Starbucks budget is now making way for my GT’s Kombucha budget.

That’s it for now. Have a most wonderful weekend, and make it a great day!

How Housework is Hazardous For Your Health

We have some friends coming into town today to stay with us for a few days, so last night I decided to get all motivated and tidy up the apartment a bit. You know, to give them an impression that we’re not complete slobs, which we are. Somewhere in between vacuuming the living area and scrubbing toilets I threw my back out. So now I don’t think our apartment will ever be clean again until after the little miss is born. Ugh, who knew cleaning could be so bad for your health?

Anyway, I grabbed breakfast at the cafe downstairs from my office. I’ve been trying to get into the office a little earlier lately since I’m pretty much useless by 4:00 pm. So I’ve been taking the 6:44 train and damn is that early. Plus, if I start crashing around in the kitchen to make breakfast in the morning, I’ll wake Squish up and then I have to add getting Squish ready to the day into my list of morning activities, which never fails to make me miss my train. So I’ve been doing breakfast at coffee shops or at work lately. Meh, it’s working for my schedule, less stress, and temporary, so I figure it weighs out against being less healthy and expensive.

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Sausage, egg, and cheese on a toasted english muffin and coffee. There was another coffee downed sometime in the morning, too.

For lunch the coworkers wanted to herd over to Una Mas, so I decided to be “healthy” and order the Margarita salad with chicken.

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Never again. Ugh, this was a disappointing salad. It was all lettuce with a little salsa dumped on top. The best part was the surprise tostada I found under the copious amounts of romaine lettuce that was all freshly fried and cripsy. Lesson learned; if I’m doing a salad in the future, I’m making it myself.

Also, work got a new Costco food order in, and they included little cups of grapefruit. This was so a hit-the-spot afternoon snack. This will be a thing until they’re gone.

 

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Dinner was once again onions, bell peppers, and Aidells chicken apple sausage fried together. And once again eaten with a toddler in my lap. Hulk had a work dinner, so it was just the kiddo and me. He offered to wash the floor after I threw my back out, and did a pretty decent job of it for a two year old. I am so happy that I’m procreating domestic slave laborers. I’m hoping his sister is as big of a sucker for housework as Squish is.

I’m not too sure what to do about my back. It’s my lower back, and feels like a strain. Of course, duh, I should take it easy and, like, not make it worse, but I’m hoping it’s just a little muscle thing that can spring back in a couple weeks and not something I’m going to be dealing with until the end of time. It’s nice to dream, isn’t it? Hulk has a bum back too, but the stretches he does to relieve it aren’t something I can do with my belly right now. So I’ll just pop some Tylenol, dig out the heating pad, and take a mini vacation from doing anything productive that requires physical activity. This might not be a bad thing, really.

That’s it for now, make it a great day, kids!

Vacation Mode is Over

What, it’s Monday already? The weekend sure went by fast, despite the whole vacation thing last week. I’m definitely still in vacation mode over here.

I had to get to work super early this morning (so much for “vacation mode”), so I snacked once I got to work on a leftover apple and Justin’s Almond Butter packet.

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And lots of tea. I have a bit of a sore throat, and some black tea with honey felt soothing.

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All gone!

After a couple hours I was feeling snacky, so when some of my desk buddies suggested heading to the cafe across the street, I tagged along for a coffee and a blueberry muffin.

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Maybe I should make “Muffin Mondays” a thing? It’s just the right kind of pick-me-up to start off the work week.

Also, put in copious amounts of half and half and cinnamon in my americano. This is the right way to do it, I tell ya.

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It’s like angels dancing in my mouth.

Lunch was an Italian sandwich, pop chips, and water. I didn’t take a picture because I was eating through a lunch meeting with other people and it was weird. Okay, and I forgot. You caught me.

When I got home, Hulk and I met a new friend at La Boulanger for dinner. I had the warm goat cheese salad, and a few pickles from their condiment bar. Again, dining with a new friend made picture taking weird. And I forgot again. Ha.

I decided to take a rest day, since I didn’t have much time after dinner and I’m still feeling sick from the weekend. Sore throat and kind of cold-y should NOT be happening in August, but, well, here we are.

Anyway, those are the updates from today. Exciting, I know. Hope you had a most wonderful day!

Writing Through the Funk

Hey gang,

I’ve been having some trouble coming up with writing lately. It’s not for lack of content or time. I’ve just been going in and out of this funk I can shake, and when I’m not in a chipper mood, I don’t like to write because I feel the depression leak out into my post, and I like to keep blogging a happy place. But if everything was always roses and ponies and freshly baked bread, it wouldn’t be real. So my cranky-pants and I are plowing through a post today.

Whole30 Day 3 today. I did off-road last night. We had friends over for dinner, and Hulk ordered our favorite Indian. I was planning on having the curry on top of a salad, but once we started dishing up I found my hand dishing a small serving of rice and naan on my plate. I was just mentally weak and didn’t make the choice I should have made. It’s done, moving on with life. The mistake I’ve made in the past is when I off-road, I give up and go back to my old habits. This time I’m just going to brush myself off and make sure my next meal is complaint. Take it one meal at a time. Otherwise I go nuts.

The weather was beautiful for our dinner party.

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I was feeling rather sick yesterday morning. I was just completely fatigued and had a horrible headache I couldn’t shake. I tried to sleep it off, but it didn’t seem to work. So I went to the gym to get some blood moving to see if that would help.

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It woke me up, but my head and stomach still feel crappy. Not sure if it’s psychosomatic symptoms from Whole30, stress, or what. I’m just not feeling 100% myself today.

I can’t end this on a downer. So here’s a goofy kid picture. Snoogle attacks are really fun.

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The Coldest Winter is a Summer in San Francisco

Anyone else up for a lazy Sunday? I didn’t think it was going to be like this, but a lazy day is how this day seems to be turning out.

Last night I just could not fall asleep, so I took a Unisom. Normally I don’t have too many side effects, but this morning I can’t seem to keep my eyes open! I tried going back to bed, but I didn’t fall asleep so I got bored. I just can’t seem to muster up the energy to tackle my want-to-do list (as opposed to the usual “have-to-do” list). So I’m catching up on blog reading and getting in some quality Netflix time with Squish.

That’s okay, we had a pretty busy Saturday. We didn’t make it to the zoo because Squish had a poorly timed nap. So instead we tried to walk up to Fisherman’s Wharf for some ice cream and to play tourist. We never made it past the Exploratorium since it was so cloudy and windy, Hulk and I were cold and made the call to turn back.

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You’d think with the palm trees and blue sky it would be nicer outside!

Squish didn’t seem to mind, he had a blast playing with all the unusual apparatus that surrounds the Exploratorium.

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As soon as we got back to the apartment, the sun popped out! So we met up with some friends at Union Square for a Philippine Independence festival. We checked out some booths and watched the traditional dancers. It was a really fun act!

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Back at home we had pizza and salad for dinner with some friends. I totally forgot to take a picture, but I had a homemade Caesar salad with a slice of pepperoni, sausage, and I think goat cheese pizza. There was some other stuff on it, but that’s what I remember.

I wasn’t feeling too well (hence the Unisom) so I crashed early while Hulk went out with some friends.

All right, that’s enough laying about. I should just get some coffee in me and got try to seize at least part of the day. Go make it a great day, kids!

More Catching Up

What is up?

We are now back to mobile blogging! I don’t love using the WordPress app on my iPhone to blog, but since I’ve been driving to work more than taking the train I’ve lost my prime blogging time. So, we do what we can with what we have, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, I think.

So, yeah, I’ve sort of given up on the train for now. Turns out that adding a half hour to my commute each way turned it from totally do-able to totally exhausting. Even though I dislike driving, at least I know it shouldn’t take more than an hour to get home, as long as there’s no major traffic issues. Plus, it’s kind of nice to wear what I want and leave when I want.

We had a super nice weekend and Mother’s Day over here. San Francisco weather was very cooperative. Saturday I got a sorta-Mother’s Day gift: a new bed! Hulk and I have been going back and forth forever about upgrading to a king-sized mattress, and finally decided to pull the trigger last week. We found our exact same bed frame in a king size on Amazon, and that was just a cherry on top. The mattress came over the weekend. Squish was very excited to “help” set everything up.

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Don’t mind the disaster of a desk back there. I’ve kind of giving up on keeping things picked up anymore.

The best part? My leg has been relatively pain-free since we started sleeping on the mattress. At PT yesterday my therapist said that my muscles were so relaxed, it was a huge gain from last week. Months of pain, and all I needed is some routine self-massage and a new mattress. At least I know now, right?

Sunday some friends came over to celebrate Mother’s Day. Their daughter is Squish’s age, so the dads took the kiddos to the park and pool while my mom friend and I treated ourselves to mani-pedis and some swimsuit shopping. Then we ordered pizza and watched movies for dinner. Definitely the best Mother’s Day I’ve celebrated for myself yet.

Make it a great week, I hope I can check in a bit more often as time allows!

Catching Up

Happy Tuesday! I feel like I’m back from the dead, and we are in sore need of a nice chat to get all caught up, don’t you think? I’ve got my coffee here, so why don’t you get yourself a cup as well and we’ll dish on the latest happenings.

Giveaways!

I can’t believe that I forgot to mention it earlier, I won my first ever blog giveaway from Renee at Bendiful! I came home from Pittsburgh to a big ol’ box of assorted KIND bars 🙂

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Whenever a package comes in the mail, Squish assumes it’s for him and starts jumping around crying, “Grandma! Grandpa!” because usually the package is a little gift from his grandparents. So he had to help me open it, and when he saw they were KIND bars he immediately wanted to eat them all. He got one.

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I made him pose for a PR shot first. (Oh dear lord, I just realized he was wearing his “Hooters” shirt. Well, now you know what kind of parent I am, if you didn’t realize it already.)

Thank you Renee and KIND bars for the awesome surprise!

Sick

I don’t think I’ve seen the doctor so many times as I have in the last week. As I mentioned last time,  I came down with a really nasty case of strep when I was in Pittsburgh. It was so bad it migrated to my ears; I’m still hard of hearing in my right ear due to all the congestion. I was basically bed-ridden for almost a week. Coupled with the usual pregnancy symptoms of fatigue and morning sickness, I don’t remember the last time I was quite that miserable. But now I’m on the mend, and since this is the last week of my first trimester (woot, milestones!) I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll be well enough to get back to activity as usual next week.

Baby

All signs point to baby still doing well, mostly due to the fact that I feel like crap-ola 80% of the time. Days I puke are slowly outnumbering days I don’t puke. I’m a little nervous about all the meds I had to take while sick, if they may have unintentional side effects on the little Peanut, but if it weren’t for the miracle of western medicine and antibiotics who knows how I’d be right now. That aside, I am definitely outgrown of my normal pants, and had to pick up a nice pair of maternity in-between jeans at Old Navy a couple weeks ago. I really like them; the stretchy part is on the sides, so from the front and back they look like normal pants. I hope my work isn’t too annoyed at me wearing jeans more often than usual; that’s all that really fits right now. At least I haven’t resorted to yoga pants just yet. Next week I have another ultrasound and another checkup and I’m excited to find out about Peanut’s progress, and see some sea monkey pics!

Travel

Last weekend we spent some glorious time off the grid at a cabin in the woods north of Ukiah. Some friends of ours invited us up to spend the weekend with them and their little girl who is Squish’s age. It was a totally awesome and surreal experience to be completely off the grid with no electricity (there was propane and solar, so it wasn’t exactly “roughing it”), wi-fi or cell reception. The only use for my phone was as a flashlight in the country-dark night. Yup, this was the weekend.

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Terrible, I tell you. Just horrible. Squish and his new friend tore the place apart, and it was adorable to see him actually playing and interacting with another kid. He also got to go on a bike ride with Daddy.

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We are looking forward to this type of retreat again soon. It was the perfect thing for relaxing and reconnecting without modern distractions.

Workouts

I have done nothing in about 3 weeks. Well, I did do 30 min on the elliptical last Wednesday hoping the exercise would clear up my congestion. But I have been too tired in the morning to work out before work, and too sick AND tired in the evenings to consider going to the gym. I’m hoping next week I’ll start feeling better and feel up to light workouts again. I can’t go my entire pregnancy without keeping my strength up, or labor is going to be even more laborious if I’m out of shape! I might have to start sucking it up and getting to the gym despite my illness if I don’t feel better soon. Who knows; the activity might actually make me feel better.

Physical Therapy

I’m still going to physical therapy for my bum hamstring. It seems to be going well, and if I would just do my prescribed exercises I would probably be healing faster. But I’m forgetful and lazy, so it doesn’t always happen. Sitting in the car for 3+ hours Sunday coming back from the cabin didn’t make my leg feel all that great, so we did some extra work on it yesterday to get it back up to snuff. I guess I have a lot of muscular imbalance; my left leg is tighter than my right, so my right is over-working to compensate for it and that’s why my right leg is in pain. I’m supposed to do some hip and hammie-strenghtening exercises like clamshells and bridges, and massage my quads and calves with a roller ball daily. I think I need to set an alarm for myself every day so I remember to take the 15 minutes to work through my PT homework. I can’t remember anything unless there’s an alarm for it.

Whew! Okay, I feel caught up now. My coffee’s all gone, and the train is about to my station (yay commute blogging!). Make it a great day, and I’ll see you later!

Sardines

Hello! I’m back from my death bed. I didn’t mean to go all MIA the last 10 days or so, but when I was traveling last week I came down with a doozy of a bug. Turns out it was strep. A really, really nasty case of strep that moved to my ears. So I’ve been spending the last week either sleeping or taking what meager drugs I can take to make the bad man stop and go back to sleep. My family has been wonderful through my convalescence. Hulk made some dutiful husband runs for chicken soup and flavored sparkling water, while our au pair did some double time with Squish, taking over bedtime and other activities I couldn’t perform over the weekend due since I was highly contagious. So I was allowed to sleep about 14 hours a day without any other worries to distract me besides getting well.

In other news, I forced myself to eat sardines for lunch. I figured part of my illness was probably due to the fact that healthy eating has taking a bit of a back seat lately. Feeling morning sickness, fatigue pushing out my normal food prep activities, and the crazy travel schedule this month meant I was grabbing more of the less-healthy convenience stuff and less of the labor-intensive good stuff. So I considered my illness a wakeup call to refocus on the important stuff. Dirty floors can wait; a dirty diet cannot!

One of the things my doctor recommended is to lighten up on my tuna intake. Whaaat?!? You don’t get it; I love tuna. I eat it almost every day, in particular I love the Wild Planet brand tuna in olive oil, because it’s delicious, focuses on sustainable practice, and has a pop-top lid so you don’t need a can opener to indulge. But in reading about fish safety and sustainability, it’s really important to watch your mercury intake while pregnant. And tuna, although not terribly bad on the “dirty” scale, still can contain high levels of mercury and should be eaten in moderation. I’m a bit heartbroken by this feedback, but I should see it as a challenge and opportunity rather than a brick wall, right? And I’ve been meaning to eat more sardines, since they are “clean“, don’t pose a mercury risk, and are highly sustainable.

The problem? My squeamish American palate. They’re yucky! All the skin and tiny bones and stuff, I can’t handle it, man. But, I need to put on my big girl pants and deal with it. I perused Pinterest for inspiration on how to incorporate sardines so I can’t tell I’m eating them, like a stepping stone. It’s how I slowly weaned myself into eating avocados and olives, too. But everything was like, “dump this sauce on them” or “put them on greens” and I’m like, I still know I’m eating sardines so this isn’t working for me.

Then I found these Wild Planet sardines in marinara sauce. That seemed promising.

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It took me a few weeks to work out the courage to say, “I’m eating these blankety-blanks today!” Then I had to figure out how to dress them up. I’m not at the point yet where I can take a fork to a tin and go to town.

I didn’t take picture of my concoction because they looked horrendous, but I assure you it was tasty enough that I could put the whole thing down. I figured what I would normally do with marinara is put it on pasta. So I made some spaghetti, and heated up the sardines in the marinara and broke them up into a meat sauce. Then I drowned the whole thing in butter and mozzarella cheese. It was like spaghetti bolognese with fish instead of beef. Squish was around when I started eating my experiment, and he demand multiple tastes of it. So it worked.

And that is the story on how I ate a tin of sardines today.